topgear: Jeremy on his daughter’s first car When it’s your daughter who’s about to poke her headlights into a maelstrom of the weak, the mad and the blind, you need to sit down with the spec sheets and do some proper research. Style? Speed? Value? Handling? All the things that usually matter suddenly don’t any more. All I was interested in was safety. I wanted a car with 2,000 airbags. I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers. I wanted my daughter to have something absolutely enormous. A Volvo with elephantitis. That rig they used for moving space shuttles. I wanted Lincolnshire, with wheels. And bumpers like a spoilt child’s bottom lip. Sadly, you would obviously need a large engine to power such a thing, and that’s where you run up against the insurance companies… Read the rest at TopGear.com “According to the bumf, the engine produces 60 horsepower. But we are not talking stallions here. What they mean is 60 Shetland pony power. This means that overtaking anything is simply impossible. So my daughter will be forced to drive about at the same speed as the slowest thing on the road. That’ll be James May. And since he is stationary most of the time, either because he is letting someone out of a side turning or because he is lost and consulting a map, the chances of an accident are dramatically reduced.” Clarkson, you are amazing. I’m kind of glad you’re not my dad. x’DDD

topgear:

Jeremy on his daughter’s first car

When it’s your daughter who’s about to poke her headlights into a maelstrom of the weak, the mad and the blind, you need to sit down with the spec sheets and do some proper research. Style? Speed? Value? Handling? All the things that usually matter suddenly don’t any more. All I was interested in was safety. I wanted a car with 2,000 airbags. I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers.

I wanted my daughter to have something absolutely enormous. A Volvo with elephantitis. That rig they used for moving space shuttles. I wanted Lincolnshire, with wheels. And bumpers like a spoilt child’s bottom lip. Sadly, you would obviously need a large engine to power such a thing, and that’s where you run up against the insurance companies…

Read the rest at TopGear.com

“According to the bumf, the engine produces 60 horsepower. But we are not talking stallions here. What they mean is 60 Shetland pony power. This means that overtaking anything is simply impossible. So my daughter will be forced to drive about at the same speed as the slowest thing on the road. That’ll be James May. And since he is stationary most of the time, either because he is letting someone out of a side turning or because he is lost and consulting a map, the chances of an accident are dramatically reduced.”

Clarkson, you are amazing. I’m kind of glad you’re not my dad. x’DDD